Thirsty Thorsday

Welcome to another thirsty Thors-day with the Berserker crew.  This post is actually a week late, as we racked batch 00002: Pineapple Insanity into its carboy last week.  But in the spirit of the day, we proceeded immediately to Frank's Place to celebrate another step on the road to mead-drenched Valhalla.

Frank's is our friendly neighborhood bar.  How friendly?  Well that depends on whether Jim the bartender is in a good mood.  But the drinks are always strong and the prices are reasonable, so it is an excellent location to take refuge from the sober world.  You meet colorful characters at Frank's.  I was in there yesterday, and I kid you not, Jim said "the crazy lady who sits in the bushes came in the other day."  Michael Vick tried to sell me some drugs one Saturday (I think it was Michael Vick...he was wearing the jersey anyway...).  And always be wary if you see the Witch or Laszlo the crazy Hungarian.  I should give Laszlo his due, he's got fabulous stage presence in his karaoke act, and he bought me a shot last Monday.  It's nice not to be the weirdest guy in the bar.  Though the cast is pretty colorful, it's usually pretty chill, so if you're not such a delicate flower that you quit reading our blog, you should be fine to go there.

But I digress...

Project Pineapple Insanity is coming along nicely.  Looks like it will be even higher in alcohol content than batch 0001.  A tasting confirmed that it was coming along nicely.  The racking went very smoothly.  Like any project, once you get it figured out the first time, repetition just makes things more efficient.   Some sterilizing of equipment, a little mugging for the camera, a quick hydrometer reading and chalk up another victory for the berzerking bastards of brew.

Story by Ben Rooney
Pictures by Eduardo Lima *ahem* I saaaid...eh fukkit

Party like a Rack Star

Yeah, the pic is old, but it gets the point across.  That is my most estimable brother on the left.

Racking...Compleat!  As of this Thorsday, 10-7-2010, batch 0001 has been racked into one of the glass carboys.  Probably could have racked a little earlier, as fermentation is now nearly complete, but as a wiser man than myself once said "Let's not argue and bicker about who killed who."  The task of racking was made incredibly easy by the auto-siphon I picked up from the good folks at our local brewing supply company, homebrewit.com.  Unless you have mad siphon skillz or a lovely assistant who can suck-start a leaf blower, I highly recommend that particular piece of equipment. 

Naturally the most important part of the proceedings was to take this opportunity for a little tasting of the merchandise. To give an appropriate air of gravitas to such an occaison, we busted out the prayer from the 13th Warrior:

Lo there do I see my father,

Lo there do I see my mother,

And the line of my people, back to the beginning.

They call to me now, and bid me join them

In the halls of Valhalla

Where the brave may live

Forever

Well, I won't keep you in suspense any longer...I am awesome.  This stuff already tastes pretty good.  Some aging to mellow it out, clarify, and smooth the rough edges, and I think that Batch 0001 is going to be a winner.  It is translucent and kind of an iced tea color, in keeping with the dark wildflower honey. We're rocking a solid 12% alcohol by volume according to our amateurish-at-best use of the hydrometer.  Whatever the exact number, it's got enough power to put a warm glow in your chest on the way down.

I now know how Dr Frankenstein felt when he cut loose with his famous, "It's aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!"  To drink your own booze and have it taste good is pretty damn epic; I am producing a controlled substance in my basement.  Bring on the zombie apocalypse, I can make my own alcohol. 

-Ben Rooney

Wait for it... (2)

We're getting ready to rake our first batch of awesomeness, but before we do, let's look at mead and how it relates to life in general.

Mead is life. The end.

(...)

Just kidding. Mead is actually the antithesis of modern life. Mead cares not if you're thirsty. Mead cares not if you need your booze fix. Mead cares not if you went on an all-night bender and need to wash the taste of cigars and hookers out of your mouth. Mead will be ready when mead will be ready, and not a minute longer. This ain't no Bud Light, folks! Now, that flies in the face of our modus operandi, does it not? Humans were too busy to stay in line for a cheeseburger on their way to work, and we invented drive-thru. We were too embarassed to go to our nearest adult bookstore in fear of being recognized as the deranged perverts we are, and we invented the internet. You see where this is going? At the ebb of our civilization, we have gotten ourselves into a damn hurry to accomplish even the most meaningless of tasks.




Cheeseburger-eating, porn-addicted beer drinkers



Mead drinkers

So, it comes as no surprise that meadmaking attracts those of us in search for an antidote for everyday life. The very process of preparing the ingredients, mixing them into a must, and watching it ferment week after week is in itself an exercise in patience and anticipation. It is also as close to alchemy as one gets, which is why we plan to brew our future batches dressed in robes and wizard hats. Now THAT ought to be a hit with the ladies, uh?

With that said, despite the relative unpredictability of meadmaking at the homebrewing level, it is OK to set goals. After all, what's the point of brewing this stuff if you don't get to consume it as much and as soon as possible? We're trying to remedy it by brewing batches in set intervals, to sort of 'cheat' our way into having mead available all the time. We expect our first batch to be drinkable around April, so we'll see. Mead cares not if it's Easter and you have friends over for dinner, but that's OK. If the mead is not ready, we'll just serve beer.

-Eduardo "don't-serve-me-that-swill" Lima